realmtech.net

I once wrote something that I was rather clever, but I soon realised it was closer to the truth than I had originally realised:

"I know what sex is, I've got the internet!"

Why do I bring this up? Well...after comments from some students who had recently decided to try the local perverts scene...there was a strong hint that it wasn't what it had been cracked up to be. Maybe they went during cheap hour, but from what I gleamed of their information...the strip club had less action than a McDonald's happy meal. What the hell were they expecting? www.asciipr0n.com? www.goatse.cx? www.tubgirl.com?

I mean, what the fuck are they complaining about...

After some serious thought about the subject, I realised many things could be happening:

1) The first thing that popped into my mind was this: the club did indeed have action and they were lying to me so that I never went there and never discovered the wonders of the stip-tease.

2) They don't actually strip...instead they stand there on the stage, wrapped in layer after layer of clothing so that by the end of the evening...there are still layers to come off...and by then, everyone has wasted their money and time trying to get the clothes off the damned women.

Finally I actually thought (note: the previous 'serious thought' was drunken thought...so it didn't quite count...but then again, this was drunk logic to so it doesn't either) about the situation...and came to a startling conclusion, it was neither of these two seemingly logical conclusions (it seemed like it at the time...as i was wasted). How did I get to this? well...it would have had to have been as a result of the comment: "Even my computer has seen more action than that..." Well, thats probably true...because the comment was made by someone who is a regular of hard-core porn sites etc.

But what does THIS mean? Well...it is obvious that the younger generations have grown up in the internet age. With fairly readily available access to the internet, and we know what this means: PORN! Yes, thats right kiddies! (porn and kiddies don't work 3 words apart, but anyway!)

The mere fact that these people had been subjected to very rough and obvious porn has desensitised them to what had once been very erotic and quite 'action-filled' activities (well, stripping). Instead, they enter the club with expectations of seeing full frontal nudity and fucking.

There are over 3 billion websites that have been detected by google's search algorythm alone...with possibly billions more. According to the American Board of Statistics...almost a quarter of that is pornographic/adult material. What does this mean? Well...obviously there are more porn sites on the internet than people in australia. No wonder we're saturated in the stuff, and this has a desensitising effect on the youth of today. Couple this with the inability of stupid programs such as 'net-nanny' to shield these things and popular culture forcing sex down the throats of everyone (well, it mostly goes down the throats of girls and prison bitches)...its no wonder that there are so many teenage pregnancies in the world (save odd place where they have sex with kids as tribal custom dictate).

What are we to do with all this? Well...in my drunken brilliance...I devised a plan to make one sensitive again to good ol' stripping. It is terribly simple:

stay chaste for as long as you can, don't look at porn and submerge yourself in the world of hello-kitty and other 'cutsie' non-sexualised (though some people may argue that hello kitty is a raving sex fiend) websites and media for some weeks (you don't have to follow the chaste routine...but i'm guessin it will help) and then go and blow yourself on some stripping action.

Of course I am sure you would probably find a website out there that has hello kitty fucking all the other characters.
So get out there and support the local talent! Or, you could just look up porn on the internet and pay less...and probably get more...and have so much sex and fucking on the mind that you start to hump random objects, like...the TV remote, or the computer mouse. Who knows what those horny guys/gals out there do...

Thats all i have to say, and since I have no money to go out to a strip club...I guess i'll just have to resume that 2 gig download of porn videos i have been waiting to get.

2 Comments »

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It
was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked
excessively without making sense, became overly emotional,
couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing,
and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

5 Comments »

I, in my liking for nemesis have taken it upon myself to try and boost the traffic to his website. This is however will not nessecarily increase the number of people who are on his forum etc...but rather it will increase the number of hits he recieves (hopefully) and take up all his bandwidth, so then he is fucked. Well...that last bit, I don't want.

Anyway! On with the show...

To begin with today's many thousands of IPs luncheon...may I suggest a select bunch of the more odd variety of proxy. The anonymous proxy. Now, if this whole hairballed scheme comes to fruition (which I am hoping), Peter should have no fucking idea whats going on...however, as I have no knowledge wether or not anonymous traffic is counted on this website...I will just have to hope it enjoys the attention of some, 3000 or so odd IPs. Then, the main course will hopefully consist of over 400,000 of random IPs selected at random...so fuck that...i'll just run it forever. But since I am too lazy to do the main course or get the lists for it...i won't. And for desert, I will give him the graces of my own IP...yum yum.

"WTF IS THIS ALL ABOUT!?!?!" He is probably wondering.

Because I love you so much (in that special manly man way), I have decided that increasing the traffic may also increase your html and php standards. Mind you, I have very little skill at php...i still know what is good and what is not...and *hopefully*, nemesis will see the increased traffic, and think...wait a second...maybe I should redo the site and make it more nicer like hyuk hyuk.

And I love the period -----> .

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I'm gonna let you in on a few little secrets...

If you have food anywhere on your person and happen to pass someone from Fenner Hall on the street you are liable to end up looking like a man wearing a meat suit in the jungle...

If you want a cheap rent-a-crowd for a party, put up a sign with 'free food' and you'll have at least 500 Fennerites at your door in thirty seconds (40 if you live in Queanbeyan)

Yes, that's right people, this is the curse of the self-catered college (especially during exam period.) SO, what can we do about this? Well the uni is going to start a food fund where you can bring any food you don't feel you need and give it to the needy people at Fenner Hall... Make sure it's out of date by at least a year and that it is sure to kill anyone who smells it. Afterall, we ARE facing an accomodation crisis and need more spaces for bums who live in canberra, own cars and STILL apply for places in colleges to escape stifling home situations (where - heaven forbid - someone else does you washing, your cooking AND pays the bills.) Like, REALLY, what is going on here people...

I end on this note:

'Give me food please, i live at a self catered college '
*reads the sign around her neck*

alpha <><

4 Comments »