mason @ Tuesday 13th July, 2004
Canberra Nightlife - THE NUTSHELL GUIDE
1. If you want to see girls in skimpy, bright clothes and listen to music that goes doof, doof, doof all night, go to Insomnia.
2. If you want to wear your suit with pride and drink cocktails with all the other 'wanna-be's, who never will be' go to Hippo Bar or Holy Grail in Kingston.
3. If you want to get laid, go to PJ O'Reilly's in Tuggeranong, King O'Malley's in the city or any other pub with an Irish name.
4. If you want to get kissed on the cheek by a drunken old German man, go to the Harmony German Club or the Irish Club in Mawson.
5. If you wanna pick up within the first 10 minutes of arriving, you can always try the vast array of aussie chicks who can't dance to save themselves at ICBM. All you have to do is call out "Tracey!!" or "Cheryl!!" and you'll be right mate.
6. If you want to wear black dress pants, tight-fitting coloured shirts with six of your mates in the same gear and drink imported beers, go to B Bar.
7. If you want to see the absolute scum of the earth - go to the Chisholm Tavern for half price beers from 6 till 7.
8. If you drive a WB Ute complete with bull bar, 2 meter UHF aerial, 'shoot ferals' & 'get real get wool' stickers, wear RM's, moleskins & chambray shirts and claim your family was originally "from the land", go to Platinum in Queanbeyan.
8. If you'd like to see girls in white pants with dirty knees... go to South Pac... eewww! One of the few places where girls use the pickup line "hi, I'm 16" (and it works!)
9. If you want to cheap feed that doesn't taste like crap (after 12 beers does anything taste like crap?), go to Chicken Gourmet. You can dead-set afford to eat out now every night.
10. If you don't want to have to shave your armpits, think peroxide spikes are sexy, or otherwise like the female population... head to Tilley's.
11. If you want some competition - any kind really, glam, sham or macho man, look no further than Quattro; some of the shallow passive aggressive types...hey what you looking at?
12. If you don't know f*#k-all about music, or have atrocious taste, but like the idea of kids on drugs, you might be tempted by one of Canberra's fabulous raves! See Lot 33
13. Cheap drinks, cheap clothes and Uni students on tap .. head to the RSL Club on Saturday night.
14. Down on Denim? It's all class at Bobby McGee's where stonewash jeans are strictly no go.
15. If you want to try your luck competing with 30 something year olds for some of that glamour tail, Holy Grail in Civic is the place to be.
16. If you still wanna something different, try going to Mooseheads ...
Hmmm...Mooseheads... the place where that "I'm a Barbie Girl" song by Aqua is classified as "techno".
17. Tripping and need some music to go off to? Babylon is the place for you.
18. If you have ever gone to Daramarlan or are even associated with anyone that is there or has gone there, try Shooters
19. Feel a bit fired up and would like to get in a brawl? Jackson's has someone there waiting for you ... guaranteed.